my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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