I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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