According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
