I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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