everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
