Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
