and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
