YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
