Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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