WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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