Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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