if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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