The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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