she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
