What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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