Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
