My friends, they love my intelligence
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
