Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
