So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
