It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
