i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
