my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize