Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
