Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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