Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
