On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she looked like the before picture.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
