Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize