Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
