We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
