Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
me + whiskey = a bad person
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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