dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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