you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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