Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I understand Curling. That high.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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