Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Little spoons don't ask big questions
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
