I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
