Define "chronic" masturbator.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
