the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
