You're so nebulous sometimes
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
