I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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