Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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