Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
