doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
