i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
