Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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