if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize