Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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