It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
