He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I stole a fireplace last night.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
