My room smells like vodka and shame
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
