"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
