You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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