Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can you bring me the toilet please
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
