It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
