I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Its about making memories worth repressing
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
