Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
