you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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