all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
