I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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