We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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