we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
