K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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