i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
